


On the Way to Heaven

by Dolimir



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 00:49:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/792119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair is tired, but can Jim make things right before he loses his guide.<br/>This story is a sequel to No.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Way to Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Oh yeah, WARNING ... bad words ... very bad words used in this story. My mother would wash my mouth out if she saw what I typed . 
> 
> First and foremost, my thanks go out to Beth who I shanghaied into being my beta (yeah, teach you to send an loc!!)and to Mo, who gave me the encouragement to send this puppy out. However, I am incredibly stubborn and any mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Yes, I am aware this isn't "Homecoming" but have you ever had a story come to you full realized? Well, I haven't either, so it was a shock when this story showed up on my doorstep. I decided to write it down before it got away. But for those who are interested, I am currently on page 23 of Homecoming. 
> 
> I have never been a big lyric story reader, but I absolutely love "Something Happened on the Way to Heaven." It was just something I could see touching Jim. 
> 
> As always, please let me know if you liked the story or not.

## On the Way to Heaven

by Dolimir

Author's disclaimer: Author's disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply. Pet Fly Productions and UPN own the characters and the series. No copyright infringement intended. No money was made in writing or sharing this story  unless someone wants to pay me and then I'll talk to my lawyers about sharing 

The lyrics "Something Happened on the Way to Heaven" were written by Phil Collins and Daryl Stuermer and produced by Atlantic Recording. 

The lyrics to "Hot Summer Night" were written by Jim Steinman and recorded by Meatloaf and produced by Epic Records. 

No copyright enfringement was intended by using these songs.

* * *

"I should have heard him sooner," James Ellison said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes, blocking out the peaceful scene before him. 

Blair Sandburg leaned on the railing of the old pier and stared out at the ocean, watching the sandpipers run back and forth in front of the waves, relishing the cool breeze which blew off the ocean, giving him the first relief he had had all day from the sweltering heat. "You need to cut yourself a break, Jim. You caught a serial killer who has been eluding police for over 6 years in three different states. If it hadn't have been for you, he would still be at large." 

"But if I had only been extending my hearing, I might have heard her screams for help. I might have been able to prevent her death. She was only 20, basically a baby. She should have been going home now, after enjoying a long walk on the beach, not going downtown in a body bag." The sentinel stood straighter and stared off at a point on the horizon. 

"You're not Superman," Blair sighed, closing his eyes. Then taking a deep breath, he opened them and turned back to his friend, his weariness apparent as he laid his hand on Jim's arm. "Cascade has approximately a half-million inhabitants, man. Every single day, someone gets killed, or raped, or robbed or injured. You may be the Sentinel of the Great City, but you can't save them all, Jim. We can only save the ones we can. We can't beat ourselves up over every loss, otherwise we'll end up taking ourselves out of the game. It hurts, I know. But cut yourself some slack, man. You're human. Just like the rest of us. We do the best we can. I think what you need ..." 

"You have no idea what I need, Sandburg, so just back the fuck off," Ellison growled as he shrugged off the comforting hand. 

Blair blinked and then let his hand drop. "You're right," he said in voice only a sentinel could hear. Taking a deep breath, he smiled a sad resigned smile, then turned around and walked back down the pier. 

Jim dropped his chin to his chest and sighed. "Shit," he whispered. Then in a louder voice, he called out after the retreating figure. "Sandburg." 

His partner, however, did not stop or even turn around. He just raised his hand to indicate he had heard him and continued walking. 

Jim groaned in frustration. Sandburg was going to make him work for it this time. Not that he shouldn't have to work for it, but he had just needed some quiet time to process his feelings at having arrived at Angela Grabel's side moments too late. Process. Hell, he even sounded like Sandburg now. His partner, of course, had known he was trying reinforce his emotional walls and, in his own quiet way, had tried to prevent them from going up. He knew Sandburg was right. But damn it, did he have to admit it right this second? 

"C'mon, Chief," he called out as he followed the retreating figure. "I'm sorry." 

Blair had reached the end of the pier, but instead of turning to look back at him, he walked down onto the beach. 

Jim jogged to the end of the pier. "Sandburg!" he growled in frustration. 

As if he had heard, his guide looked up at him and shook his head, indicating that Jim shouldn't follow him, then turned and headed down the beach. 

"God, damn it," the sentinel swore as he scrambled after him. Reaching out, he put a hand on the younger man's shoulder and turned his partner to face him. "Look, Sandburg, I'm sorry. I was way out of line." 

Blair blinked up at him again, nodded his apparent acceptance, and turned to walk away from him ... again. The silence unnerved Jim as did the weariness in his guide's eye. 

"Look, I apologized, damn it. What's with the silent treatment?" 

Blair exhaled deeply as he shut his eyes. "Go home, Jim." 

"What do you mean 'Go home?'" 

"I'm tired." 

"Then let's go home and order some Thai. My treat." 

"You go on home, Jim. I'll be along shortly." 

There was something about the set of the younger man's shoulders which caused an ice cold fist of fear to clench in the sentinel's gut. He had always worried about losing Blair in a shoot-out or at the hands of some psycho, but now he realized there was a very real possibility of losing his guide, not with a bang, but because he simply faded away. 

"Why are you tired, Blair?" he asked quietly. The younger man looked up, startled, at the use of his first name. Jim pressed on, "What's making you tired?" 

For a moment, it appeared his partner wasn't going to answer, but finally, he whispered, "Fear based reactions." His expressive blue eyes revealing a sadness which Jim hadn't seen in over a year. 

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Jim boomed, raising his arms to the heavens. 

"It means that I understand where you're coming from, man. It means, I understand why you reacted the way you did when Alex encroached on your territory. It means, I understand why you didn't believe me when my dissertation was released without my permission. It means I understand why you think I can't possibly understand what you're feeling now. But just once, Jim, I would like for you to try to understand me." 

"Jesus, are we going to go over this again?" Jim shouted, clenching his fists at his thighs. 

"Have we ever gone over it, Ellison?" Blair countered, a flicker of anger rising above his weariness. "We've never talked about things. We came back from Peru and all my stuff was back in the loft. After my press conference, you and Simon hand me a badge. I know how you feel ... no, let me rephrase that ... I understand why you were doing what you did, but we never talk about things." 

"We don't have to dissect everything to death, Sandburg." 

Blair shook his head sadly. "And so we are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again," he whispered, almost in despair. 

"What do you want from me, Sandburg?" the sentinel growled. 

"I don't know anymore. I use to think I did, but now ... now I'm just tired." 

"How did this all become about you?" Ellison snapped. 

Blair blinked, his emotions flitting over his face almost too fast for even sentinel eyes. Anger. Disbelief. Sadness. Resignation. "Maybe it's time we took a break, Jim. I've been a cop now for a year. Your control has been fantastic. You haven't zoned in six months. Maybe ... maybe it's time to move on." 

"So you're running ... as usual." 

"That's rich," Blair laughed harshly. "This coming from a man who has so many fucking walls that it would take a demolition team to reach his core. You don't run because you carry the weight of the fucking world on your shoulders. Only Jim Ellison can understand what it means to arrive on the scene of a crime two minutes too late." Blair shoved hard against Jim's chest, causing the older man to stumble backwards. "Only the Sentinel of the Great City can feel the pain of losing another of the tribe, grieving over what should have been a wonderful life." He moved forward and shoved him again. "And, since we're stating things for the record, I haven't run in over five years. You've never seen me run. I've been with you every step of the way, man. So where," he shoved again, "do you get off accusing me of running?" 

"You're not leaving me," Jim hissed, his fear escalating. 

"Oh yeah," Blair sneered in return. "Stop me." With that, he turned and ran down the beach. 

"SANDBURG!!" the sentinel howled as he took off after the younger man. 

It dawn on Jim as he pounded down the beach after his partner that he never truly realized how fast Blair could run. In all the years he knew the former grad student, Sandburg had always fallen in beside him or ran slightly behind him or they split up to cut off a criminal in pursuit. Blair had never had from Jim before and for the first time Jim was worried. What would happen if he couldn't catch his guide? What would happen if he did? 

The sun was beginning to fall behind the horizon, the light fading fast and still the duo ran. Jim could hear his partner's steady panting, the slightly accelerated beat of his heart. Blair had been running with Rafe after their shift was over while he continued to work out at the gym. He could feel the burn in his own legs as they pumped rhythmically, but his guide showed no signs of slowing down. A song drifted over the lapping of the waves as they caressed the beach, apparently blowing in from one of the boats anchored off shore. 

"How can something so good go so bad?  
How can something so right go so wrong?  
I don't know, I don't have all the answers,  
But I want you back.  
How many times can I say I'm sorry?" 

He stumbled, then caught himself as the realization hit. Blair was right. They were repeating history - all because he couldn't admit on the most fundamental of levels that he needed Blair. Not only by his side as he worked, but needed him like breathing. The one constant in his universe was that Blair was always there for him. Always. In his entire life, no one had ever stuck to him like this one fleeing neo-hippie witch doctor punk had. No matter how hard he had pushed, no matter how much he had yelled, Blair always stood beside him. Hell, he had even come back from the dead for him. 

And suddenly, Jim realized what would happen if he didn't catch his guide. He would be alone once again and this time he would have no one to blame but himself. Digging deep, pulling out the stamina he had used while working Black Ops, Jim pushed himself harder and closed the distance between them. Reaching out, he grabbed Blair's shoulder, spinning the younger man and causing him to sprawl on his back. 

Blair surged upward, but Jim fell forward, using his momentum to push his guide back onto the sand. He quickly straddled him, pinning both of his hands over his head. Blair struggled beneath him, both of them panting harshly, neither willing to break eye contact with the other. 

"You can't keep me from leaving," the younger man finally spat up at him. 

"You're right, I can't," he answered calmly, reasonably. 

"Then get the fuck off me, man." 

"Not until you tell me where we're going." 

"What do you mean _we_ , pale face," Blair growled, confusion flitting over his face as he tried to sit up but found himself effectively pinned. 

"You're not leaving, unless I go with you." 

"That rather defeats the purpose of leaving, doesn't it?" 

"I suppose." 

Blair tried to buck Jim off with his hips, but the sentinel refused to budge. After a moment, Blair collapsed back onto the sand. "What in the hell is going on in that Sentinel brain of yours?" 

"Believe it or not, Sandburg, even though we have our problems, I'm on your side." 

"Are you quoting lyrics to me, man?" Blair snorted in disbelief. 

"They seem wholly appropriate," Jim shrugged as he grinned down at his partner. 

"What do you want from me, Ellison?" 

"What do you want to give?" 

"What?" Blair barked incredulously. 

"On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the panther with the red roses?" Jim huffed with suppressed laughter as he leaned down and nuzzled the side of his partner's face. 

"You're insane." 

"Probably. But would you?" Jim asked as he pushed the younger man's face to one side with his nose and began nibbling on his neck. 

"I ... I don't remem ... wait ... Will he offer me his mouth?" 

"Yes," the sentinel purred, pulling back slightly to look into the dazed eyes of his guide, mesmerized by the tongue which licked slightly parted lips. He leaned down slowly, giving his guide plenty of time to pull away, and brushed his lips teasingly over his partner's mouth. 

Blair's voice quavered slightly, "Will he offer me his teeth?" 

"Yes," came the lazy response, followed by the light scraping of teeth over the guide's Adam's apple. 

Blair groaned, his breath catching, "Will he offer me his jaws?" 

Gently biting the neck beneath him, Jim answered simply, "Yes." 

Whispered, "Will he offer me his hunger?" 

"Yes," the answer was breathed over his ear, as he ground his hips against his guide's, giving ample evidence of his need. 

"Again. Will he offer me his hunger?" 

"Yes," the answer was hissed out. 

"And will he starve without me?" 

"Yes." And the truth will set you free, Ellison, Jim thought as he whispered the word. 

Blair swallowed hard, his eyes searching the light blue ones above him. "And does he love me?" 

"Yes." 

"Yes?" 

"More than life itself." Jim resisted the urge to bury his face in the hair beneath him, instead he held the darker blue eyes, letting his partner see the truth behind the words. Eyes which now blinked in wonderment. Joy crossed the beloved face below him. Jim slowly smiled back, then with the patience of a predator, he repeated, "So, on a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the panther with the red roses?" 

"Oh, man, don't you dare say it." 

"Would you?" Jim nuzzled his nose in the curly sable hair. 

"Yes," was the quiet reply. 

Jim's tongue plunged into the warm mouth beneath him. Holding his guide tight, he rolled so that Blair was on top. Wrapping his legs around his guide's, effectively trapping him, Jim held his partner's wrists to his chest, reveling in the curly hair which fell into his face. Blair moaned as Jim deepened the kiss, parting only when the need to breathe became overwhelming. 

Gasping for air, Jim threatened, "You even think about saying it to any other boys, or girls for that matter, and I'll rip their arms off and stuff them down their necks." 

Blair howled with laughter above him. "You're seriously warped, man." 

"And what exactly would be your point?" Jim grinned at the younger man, then raised himself up to capture the full lips which had been driving him to distraction. 

"Just stating the obvious," Blair whispered before opening his mouth, drawing Jim further in. 

Jim groaned as he felt his guide's tongue tentatively tease his lips. "Don't go, Blair. Please." 

"Okay." 

"That was easy," Jim teased as he viewed the swollen lips above him. 

"All you had to do was ask, man," Blair whispered as he wrapped his arms around his sentinel's neck to pull him up for another kiss. "All you had to do was ask." 

* * *

End

 


End file.
